Religion Belief Lao Tzu

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I'm fascinated with Taoist Spirituality "( infact everything in this beautiful world fascinates me ! and it sometime bothers my friends as well. haha )... "just discovered this beautiful site, on the teaching of Lao Tzu.

Look how beautiful is their ideas, what they call Tao is the Supreme Soul, is the God::

Origin of all things.

There is a thing, formless yet complete.

Before heaven and earth it existed.

Without sound, without substance,

it stands alone and unchanging.

It is all-pervading and unfailing.

One may think of it as the mother of all beneath Heaven.

We do not know its name, but we call it Tao.

Deep and still, it seems to have existed forever.

Sustainer of all things.

The Great Tao flows everywhere.

It may go left or right.

All things depend on it for life, and it does not turn away from them.

It accomplishes its tasks, but does not claim credit for it.

It clothes and feeds all things, but does not claim to be master over them.

Always without desires, it may be called the Small.

All things come to it and it does not master them;

it may be called The Great.

Tao is incomprehensible to us by normal means or language.

We look at it and do not see it;

Its name is the invisible.

We listen to it and do not hear it;

Its name is the inaudible.

We touch it and do not find it;

Its name is the Subtle (formless).

These three cannot be further probed,

and hence merge into one...

Infinite and boundless, it cannot be given any name;

It reverts to nothingness.

This is called shape without shape, form without object.

It is the vague and elusive.

Meet it and you will not see its head.

Follow it and you will not see its back.

The Tao that can be told of is not the eternal Tao;

the name that can be named is not the eternal name.

Tao is both being and non-being.

Non-Being is the term given to that from which Heaven and Earth sprang.

Being is the term given to the mother that rears all things...

The two are the same,

But after they are produced, they have different names.

The two together we call the Mystery.

It is the Mystery of Mysteries.[+] Please visit MysticSaint.Info For full multimedia experience and enjoy special music.

Blessings,
Sadiq

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William Alexander Craigie - Religion Of Ancient Scandinavia
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Assorted Chants 3

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ASSORTED CHANTS

A CALL OF NINE

By Chant of One - the Spell's begun
By Chant of Two - it cometh true
By Chant of Three - it comes to me
By Chant of Four - through Heaven's door
By Chant of Five - the Spell's alive
By Chant of Six - the Spell I fix
By Chant of Seven - it flies from Heaven
By Chant of Eight - it's at my gate
By Chant of Nine - the thing is mine

MAKE A WISH CHANTS

I call upon the powers that be
To bring what I want straight to me
By Fire, Air, Land and Sea
As I do say, so Mote it be.

By Powers of Fire and Energy
By Powers of Rain, Lakes and Sea
By Powers of Wind Blowing Mightily
By Powers of Earth, it comes to me.

STEADY WORK - FIND A JOB (8 times)

I draw the job that I have earned
Using all the experiences that I have learned
It comes with respect and good pay for my energy
In the Sun's shine rays - Steady work now comes to me.

FAST LUCK - MONEY DRAWING (8 times)

Green brings me money, red brings me gold
Fast comes the cash this I need to hold
Luck in a hurry rushes abundantly
Quickly, quickly, money comes to ME.

SPIRITUAL HEALING

Healing rays come pouring in
Pain fades away, healing begins
Divine love flows through me
Health and happiness comes to me
Healing the Body, the Mind, the Heart
A gift divine, Love does impart
As sure as the rising of the Sun
Healthier daily do I thus become

BETTER BUSINESS

I give my clients what they need
With a happy smile, I do it with speed
I plan my work and work my plan
Success and cash flow right to my hand.

TO FIND A SOUL MATE (7 times)

Lords of Karma, Ladies of Destiny
A true love form the past now bring to me
That love was strong, good and kind
Love draws love, my Soul Mate find.

RECONCILE LOVERS - COME BACK TO ME

From the Heavens I seek this blessing
Bring back love which has been lessening
With hope, compassion and forgiveness from above
Spiritual power to redeem our love
By powers of Moon and Sea
Lover come back to me.

SUCCESS FOR THE STUDENT

Every day more energy to remember well becomes part of me
I understand with ease and power all that I study each quarter hour Good grades prove my learning true- proves to me what I can do
Light of knowledge shines in ME - I complete my studies successfully.

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Morning Glory

In the golden glow of ancient Eos
When slowly waking lovers untwine
And find themselves yet alive
From their night of passion
A bright eye will spark and
The two shall wordlessly start
A kiss
A touch
A warm caress
Until that Godess is forgot!

Contributed and authored by Moontodie

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Bernard King - Meanings Of The Runes
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Keywords: guide folklore divinations  some magic  ritual opening veil  ancient reckoning ancient  salem opinions modern  liber tria  ancient  

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Poems

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Book: Poems by Aleister Crowley

Classic Poetry Series. Aleister Crowley. Poems.

Download Aleister Crowley's eBook: Poems

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Heathen Gods A Collection Of Essays

Book: Heathen Gods A Collection Of Essays by Mark Ludwig Stinson

The essays in this collection were written in the years 2007, 2008, and 2009. In their original form, they were written as blog notes, message board posts, and as answers to e-mail questions I received. They were never meant to serve as a unified message about Heathenry, and there has been no attempt here to tie them together into a well-ordered or all-encompassing vision for the future of Heathenry. The essays collected here have a conversational tone, like discussion you might have around a campfire...or over a cold pint of Guinness.

In collecting them, I have attempted to put them in an order that makes sense. To further this effort, I have also grouped them into categories. And to some degree, I have reworked all of these essays. Some required quite a bit of refining, while others required very little.

What you'll find within this collection is my approach to various topics and issues within our Folkway. The Folkway that is the ancestral way-of-life of the Northern European people. The scope of these essays is wide and far-reaching, but this collection does not provide a comprehensive Examination of Heathenry. If that is what you are seeking, you should buy Our Troth, Volumes 1 and 2. And This collection does not serve as a complete Introduction to heathery. Essential Asatru, by Diana Paxton, would better serve you as an introduction to our Folkway.

This book would not exist if not for Jotun's Bane Kindred. We are a strong and growing tribe. We work to support and advance each other, and I would not be the man I am today, without the incredible individuals of worth that fill my Innangarth. Their thoughts and ideas run throughout these essays, culled from our discussions and efforts together, and the lessons we have learned working together as a tribe.

The goal of this collection of essays is not to make money. The goal is to share Information. So feel free to share or distribute this material however you wish, as long as you follow the restrictions described in the Open License on the inditia page. - Mark Ludwig Stinson

Buy Mark Ludwig Stinson's book: Heathen Gods A Collection Of Essays

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She Is The Goddess

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YULE SONGS
Hark The Neo-Pagans Sing
-"Sunblade"

(Tune: "Hark the Herald Angels Sing")

Hark the neo-Pagans sing,
Glory to the Holly King!
Peace on Earth and mercy mild,
God and Goddess reconciled,
Hear us now as we proclaim,
We have risen from the flames,
Our ancient Craft now we reclaim,
In the God and Goddess' names
Hark the neo-Pagans sing,
Glory to the Holly King!

Herne by highest love adored,
Herne the ever-reborn Lord,
At all times behold Him come,
Offspring of the Holy One,
Veiled in flesh, the Godhead see,
Hail Incarnate Deity!
Our ancient Craft now we reclaim,
in the God and Goddess' names
Hark the neo-Pagans sing,
Glory to the Holly King!

Ye Children All Of Mother Earth
-Ellen Reed

( Tune: "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear")

Ye children all of Mother Earth
join hands and circle around
To celebrate the Solstice night
When our lost Lord is found.
Rejoice, the year has begun again
The Sun blesses skies up above
So share the season together now
In everlasting Love!

Gloria
-Ellen Reed

Snow lies deep upon the Earth
Still our voices warmly sing
Heralding the glorious birth
Of the Child, the Winter King
Glo -- ria!
In excelsis Deo!
Glo -- ria!
In excelsis Dea!

Our triumphant voices claim
Joy and hope and love renewed
And our Lady's glad refrain
Answer Winter's solitude
Glo -- ria!(etc.)

In Her arms a holy Child
Promises a glowing Light
Through the winter wind so wild
He proclaims the growing Light.
Glo -- ria! (etc..)

Now the turning of the year
Of the greater Turning sings
Passing age of cold and fear
Soon our golden summer brings.
Glo -- ria! (etc..)

Oh Come, All Ye Faithful
-Ellen Reed

Oh, come all ye faithful
Gather round the Yule Fire
Oh, come ye, oh, come ye,
To call the Sun!
Fires within us
Call the Fire above us
O, come, let us invoke Him!
O, come, let us invoke Him!
O, come, let us invoke Him!
Our Lord, the Sun!

Yea, Lord, we greet Thee!
Born again at Yuletide!
Yule fires and candle flames
Are lighted for You!
Come to thy children
Calling for thy blessing!
O, come let us invoke Him (x3)
Our Lord, the Sun!

Silent Night
-Ellen Reed

Silent night, Solstice Night
All is calm, all is bright
Nature slumbers in forest and glen
Till in Springtime She wakens again
Sleeping spirits grow strong!
Sleeping spirits grow strong!
Silent night, Solstice night
Silver moon shining bright
Snowfall blankets the slumbering Earth
Yule fires welcome the Sun's rebirth
Hark, the Light is reborn!
Hark, the Light is reborn!

Silent night, Solstice night
Quiet rest till the Light
Turning ever the rolling Wheel
Brings the Winter to comfort and heal
Rest your spirit in peace!
Rest your spirit in peace!

Glory To The New Born King
-Ellen Reed (1st verse)

Brothers, sisters, come to sing
Glory to the new-born King!
Gardens peaceful, forests wild
Celebrate the Winter Child!
Now the time of glowing starts!
Joyful hands and joyful hearts!
Cheer the Yule log as it burns!
For once again the Sun returns!
Brothers, sisters, come and sing!
Glory to the new-born King!

Brothers, sisters, singing come
Glory to the newborn Sun
Through the wind and dark of night
Celebrate the coming light.
Suns glad rays through fear's cold burns
Life through death the Wheel now turns
Gather round the Yule log and tree
Celebrate Life's mystery
Brothers, sisters, singing come
Glory to the new-born Sun.

Dancing In A Wiccan Wonderland
-"Alexander & Aarcher"

Pagans sing, are you listenin',
Altar's set, candles glisten,
It's a Magickal night, we're having tonight,
Dancing in a Wiccan Wonderland

Blades held high, censer smoking,
God and Goddess, we're invoking,
Through Elements Five, we celebrate life,
Dancing in a Wiccan Wonderland,

Queen of Heaven, is in Her place,
Triple Goddess, now the Crone Face,
Above and Below, She's the Goddess we know,
Dancing in a Wiccan Wonderland

Now the God, is the Provider,
Supplying game for our Fire,
Above and Below, He's the Horned One we Know,
Dancing in a Wiccan Wonderland

In a Circle we can light a Yule Fire,
And await the rising of the Sun,
It's the Great Wheel turning for the new year,
loaded with abundance and great fun.

Later on, by the fire,
Cone of Power, gettin' higher
It's a Magickal Night we're having tonight,
Dancing in a Wiccan Wonderland

Share The Light

(The First Noel)

CHORUS: Share the light, share the light!
Share the light, share the Light!
All paths are one on this holy night!

On this Winter holiday, let us stop and recall
That this season is holy to one and to all.
Unto some a Son is born, unto us comes a Sun,
And we know, if they don't that all paths are one.

Be it Chanukah or Yule,
Christmas time or Solstice night,
All celebrate the eternal light.
Lighted tree or burning log,
Or eight candle flames.
All gods are one god, whatever their names.

Moon Of Silver

(We Three Kings)

CHORUS: Oh, Moon of Silver, Sun of Gold,
Gentle Lady, Lord so bold!
Guide us ever, failing never,
Lead us in ways of old.

Maiden, Mother, Ancient Crone,
Queen of Heaven on your throne,
Praise we sing Thee, Love we bring Thee,
For all that you have shown.

Lord of Darkness, Lord of Light,
Gentle Brother, King of Might,
Praise we sing thee, Love we bring Thee
On this Solstice night.

Joy To The World

Joy to the world! The Lord is come!
Let Earth receive her king!
Let every heart prepare him room
And Heaven and Nature sing, etc.

Welcome our King who brings us life.
Our Lady gives him birth!
His living light returneth to warm the seeds within us
And wake the sleeping earth, etc.

Light we the fires to greet our Lord,
Our Light! Our Life! Our King!
Let every voice be lifted to sing his holy praises,
As Heaven and Nature sing, etc.

Christmas Time Is Pagan!

(Gloria in Excelsius Deo)

CHORUS:
Glorious!
Christmas time is pagan!
Glorious!
Christmas time is pagan!

Christmas time is here again,
Decorations everywhere.
Christmas carols ringing out,
Gentle pagans, we don't care.

Modern folks all celebrate
What they learned in Sunday School.
In December, they don't know
They are celebrating Yule!

Let them have their Christmas trees,
Decked in red and green and blue.
We rejoice at every one!
Christmas trees are pagan, too.

Bowls of bubbly Christmas cheer,
Fill your cup and quench your thirst.
They think the tradition's theirs.
Wassail bowls were pagan, first.

Every door and window bears
Wreaths of holly, wreaths of pine.
Circles represent the Sun.
Every wreath is yours and mine.

Christmas lights on Christmas trees,
Candle flames burn higher and higher,
Let us cheer along, my friends,
As they light their Yuletide fire.

There's a possibility
That this song is yours and mine
'Cause the tune was known to all
Back in A.D. one-two-nine.

God Rest Ye Merry Paganfolk

(God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen)

God rest ye merry, paganfolk,
Let nothing you dismay.
Remember that the Sun returns
Upon this Solstice day.
The growing dark is ending now
And Spring is on its way.
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy!
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.

The Goddess rest ye merry, too,
And keep you safe from harm.
Remember that we live within
The circle of Her arms,
And may Her love give years to come
A very special charm.
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy!
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

Also try this free pdf e-books:

Francesca De Grandis - Be A Goddess
Aleister Crowley - Absinthe The Green Goddess

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Little Essays Toward Truth

Book: Little Essays Toward Truth by Aleister Crowley

Some of Crowley's clearest and most mature thoughts on sixteen concepts fundamental to human existence reflected in the light of the Qabalah: Man, Memory, Sorrow, Wonder, Beatitude, laughter, Indifference, Mastery, Trance, Energy, Knowledge, Understanding, Chastity, Silence, Love and Truth.

Download Aleister Crowley's eBook: Little Essays Toward Truth

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Aleister Crowley - Little Essays Toward Truth

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Xxxi Hymns To The Star Goddess

Book: Xxxi Hymns To The Star Goddess by Benjamin Rowe

Mother of the Sun, Whose Body is White with the Milk of the Stars, bend upon Thy servant and impart unto him Thy Secret Kiss! Enkindle within him the Holy Ecstasy Thou hast promised unto them that love Thee; the Ecstasy which redeemeth from all pain. Hast thou not proclaimed: All the sorrows are but shadows, they pass and are done, but there is that which remains? That the Universe is Pure Joy – that Thou givest unimaginable Joys on Earth – that Thou demandest naught in sacrifice? Let me then rejoice, for therein may I serve Thee most fully. Let it be Thy Joy to see my joy; even as Thou hast promised in Thy Holy Book! Now, therefore, am I Joyful in Thy Love.

Download Benjamin Rowe's eBook: Xxxi Hymns To The Star Goddess

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Benjamin Rowe - Xxxi Hymns To The Star Goddess

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The Children Of Odin The Book Of Northern Myths

Book: The Children Of Odin The Book Of Northern Myths by Padraic Colum

Master storyteller Padraic Colum's rich, musical voice captures all the magic and majesty of the Norse sagas in his retellings of the adventures of the gods and goddesses who lived in the Northern paradise of Asgard before the dawn of history.

Here are the matchless tales of All-Father Odin, who crosses the Rainbow Bridge to walk among men in Midgard and sacrifices his right eye to drink from the Well of Wisdom; of Thor, whose mighty hammer defends Asgard; of Loki, whose mischievous cunning leads him to treachery against the gods; of giants, dragons, dwarfs and Valkyries; and of the terrible last battle that destroyed their world.

These ancient stories from Northern Europe, which make up one of the great myth cycles of Western civilization, spring to life in The Children of Odin. This classic volume, first published in 1920 and reissued in 1962, is now available for the first time in paperback, illustrated with the original line drawings by Willy Pogany, to inspire a new generation of readers.

The late Padraic Colum was a poet, playwright, founder of the Irish Review and a leader of the Irish Renaissance, but he is perhaps best known today for his outstanding books for children. He was awarded the Regina Medal in 1961 for his "distinguished contribution to children's literature," honoring works like The Children's Homer, The Golden Fleece (a Newbery Honor Book), The Arabian Nights, The King of Ireland's Son and Roofs of Gold.

Padraic Colum (1881-1972) was a poet, a playwright, and a leader of the Irish Renaissance, but he is best known for his works for children, including The Children of Odin and The Golden Fleece (a newbery honor book).

Download Padraic Colum's eBook: The Children Of Odin The Book Of Northern Myths

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Anonymous - The Secret Book Of Artephius
Michal Jerabek - The Book Of Enoch Vol Iv The Book Of Dreams
Aleister Crowley - The Enochian Tablets And The Book Of The Law
Padraic Colum - The Children Of Odin The Book Of Northern Myths

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Artist Bros Enterprises Present

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Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents:

Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers

"Green with Vomit, Part III; The Humiliation"

Parody of, "Green with Evil, Part III; The Rescue"

LAST TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS:

Just when you thought things couldn't get much worse, it did. Obnoxious Tommy decides that humiliating Kimberly wasn't enough...

Tommy: Well, put your clothes back on, I have other things to do. Afterall,
the world doesn't revolve around your bare buns, sister.
Kimberly: Well excuse me for living!

...he decides to get Goldar a gift...

Tommy: Oh wait, Jason. I forgot to tell you, I'm going to throw you in a
battle with Goldar.
Jason: Should be fun, see ya.

Tommy whips out his power coin and zaps Jason, who vanishes.
...
Goldar appears from no where with his sword laughing.

...meanwhile, the other four rangers--headless and much without direction with (for the second time) Zordon lost and Alpha pretty much out of it--must go fight Green Ranger!

Tommy draws power with his sword and zaps the MegaJunkaZord when
MegaJunkaZord gets out the Majormess head-shield that reflects the power
back at Tommy, who then prepares to retreat.

Tommy: You haven't seen the last of the Green Ranger.

Has Rita finally pulled her head out from where the sun don't shine and cultivated the perfect plan? Will brain-scrambled Tommy give the Pathetic Rangers the karate lesson of their life or just make Cream Of Wheat out of them? Will Goldar be inundated with an explosion of hot-air if he dismembers Jason? Find out in Today's episode of the Pathetic Rangers, NEXT!

AND NOW PART 3:

SCENE I:

In Goldar's Playroom, Jason is shackled and gagged.

Goldar: I'll be back for you later. For now, I have to go see what Rita's new
plan is.
Jason (spit): What's to say I don't break out of this rope?
Goldar: Because it ain't rope, it's metal.
Jason: Oh.

SCENE II:

Continued from Part II, The Pathetic Rangers win the battle between the Green Ranger.

Billy: We should stay in MegaJunkaZord just in case.

SCENE III:

Rita discovers Tommy getting beat up by the rangers.

Rita: I will not accept defeat!
Goldar: I've got to get back to Jason.
Rita: That's right, I've still got him.
Squatt: I was supposed to say that.
Rita: Well you didn't, so butt out.
Baboo: (Whimpering Grunts)
Tommy: Now what is your plan, your Evilness?
Rita: I am going to unleash the evil Scorpina to destroy those metal monkeys.
Tommy: Good plan, but how am I involved?
Rita: She's just a stall, once she's written out of the mini-series, you jump
in and trash MegaJunkaZord. What's gonna happen is I'm gonna cast a
spell on the Sun to have an eclipse so that tower of rust collapses into
a fiery hell from which we'll never see that menace again.
Tommy: Hey, I have an idea. Why don't I antagonize Jason while Scorpina
assaults the Pathetic Rangers?
Rita: Splendid idea.

SCENE IV:

Zack: We've been up here for hours, can't I go to the bathroom now?
Billy: I thought you said we don't do that on TV.
Zack: Well I only said that as an excuse to throw up in your lunch bag, WHOOPS!
Billy: You did WHAT?!
Trini: That's not important right now, look!

Scorpina is blowing up small buildings all over the block.

Kimberly: We're going down.

They jump from MegaJunkaZord and Battle Scorpina.

SCENE V:

Meanwhile at Cheers....

Bulk: It's about time we got a scene in this worthless show. I have an idea.
Why don't we man-rob Old Man-Sam Malone?
Skull: But aren't we supposed to be shaken up in an old RTD Bus?
Bulk: One thing, that's in Part 4, and Second: That's a School Bus.
Skull: Better be very careful, remember what happened to Jason when he leaked
the plot?
Bulk: Yeah, this would have been much simpler if you had have said yes to
robbing Sam. Ol-Man Sam, stick em up.

SCENE VI:

Meanwhile in the dementional prison, a.k.a., Goldar's Private Play-Pin...

Jason: When is that darn Goldar gonna get back here?

Tommy suddenly fades into the set.

Tommy: Get out! I've gotta practice so I can whip that tower of rust you call
MegaJunkaZord here.
Jason: You can't do that, according to the script; Goldar is holding me captive
here and then somehow I talk him into...
Tommy: STOP LEAKING THE PLOT, or you'll never get out of here!
Jason: One more thing. If you were a real Pathetic Ranger you'd be Zordon's
slave, not Rita's.
Tommy: Hey, for all you know, I could be George Burns under this costume.
Jason: He's too small, besides his helmet would wabble around like a ball in a
pin-ball machine.
Tommy: Okay--Bill Cosby.
Jason: His gut's too big.
Tommy: That doesn't matter, the point is: I'm going to make minced meat out of
the lot of you.
Jason: Oh that's low! You're going to get it now!

Somehow, Jason gets free of the hand-cuffs and leaps onto of Tommy and they start wrestle off of the screen shouting obscenities at each other as Goldar arrives back into the cell.

Goldar: Knock it off! Number one, now how'd Jason get loose? And why does
Tommy look like a living basketball?
Tommy: He started it, Sir.

Jason gives Tommy the finger.

Goldar: Enough, you're acting like children.
Jason: That's because we're "TEENAGERS WITH ATTITUDES"
Goldar: Also, most of you happen to have five lettered names. Oh well, anyhow
I've just about had enough of you. I'll let you free, Rita probably
won't mind.

SCENE VII:

Meanwhile... Trini is teaching the alphabet to Scorpina:

Trini: Now remember what I told you five hours ago, this is `A'.
Scorpina: Why am I doing this?
Billy: 'Cause we kicked the crap out of your head, causing chronic brain
damage.
Zack: Yeah, but when Rita makes you big so you throw MegaJunkaZord in the
trash, you get your memory back.
Scorpina: By the way, I was supposed to kick you guys in the derriere.
Kimberly: Well you didn't, because if you were to dent mine, you would be
paralyzed from the neck down.
Billy: Listen, we've gotta split. We're supposed to fix Zordon.
Scorpina: Oh cool!

They all teleport for the command center.

Goldar shows up at Rita's Palace.

Rita: Hmmm, I wonder where Scorpina is? Oh hi, Goldar! Any luck with
torturing secrets out of Jason?
Goldar: Nah, I let him go.
Rita (Suddenly pulling back from her Palace): YOU DID WHAT?!

In the command center, the rangers are aimlessly switching dials and buttons knowing little of what they're doing when Jason somehow gets teleported onto the command center floor sweating and squirming in intense fear. Momentarily, (noticing the others seeing him) he stands up again and tries to look cool.

Billy: Hehehehee, I'm gifted.
Zack: Just what assures you of that, geek?
Billy: I can mindlessly switch dials, and miraculously reproduce Jason's
presence.
Trini: It ain't got nut'n to do with gifted mind. Because Goldar's a lousy
terrorist, he let Jason go for some odd reason.
Billy: Dammit, Trini, do you HAVE to ruin my moment of glory? I DO need a
payback for being harassed for being the unusually brilliant being that
I am.
Jason: Hey guys, I am here ya know.
Trini: Where have you been?
Jason: Long story, I don't think you wanna know.
Kimberly: I do.
Jason: Well, I wasn't with another girl.
Kimberly: Good.
Trini: What do you have, Kim; a monopoly on guys?

Kimberly sticks her tongue out at Trini.

Kimberly: Well at least I have 'em!
Trini: But I want one too! Can I have one, please?! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
Kimberly: Okay, you can have Jason; but I need Tommy for the show.
Trini: And who needs Billy?
Kimberly: Exactly.
Zack: Wanna discuss me?

The girls stare at Zack indicating he's not their type.

Zack: Guess not.

Trini: Any luck with the computer?
Billy: Negatory, these cables and wires have been completely roached. They
have to be replaced before we can get the computer generator and
computer online to search for Zordon's location.
Jason: And where are we going to get those?
Billy: Well, I stole everything at the command center one night, duplicated it
and brought the copies here. I'll bring my updated, more efficient
versions here.

Depressed Trini wanders over to the control panel and looks up at the empty tube where Zordon once was and starts to assume a cry-baby face.

Trini (Weeping, pathetic voice): Zordon, we need you.
Zack: Relax babe, you've got me.

Trini slaps Zack.

Zack: She likes me.

Zack gets pounded in the bread-basket.

Billy: Don't kill her, I mean, him or anything. That's not necessary.
Alpha: Look on the viewing globe.

Tommy is seen standing on a hill gloating over his special morphine powers.

Zack: God he's so full of himself.

Seven hours later:

SCENE IX:

At the Command Center, Billy finally turns the computers back-on with a gas-engine powering it.

Billy: Well the computer is online, that's all we need until That Green Guy
messes with the switches again.
Jason: Too bad we didn't have the chips for Zordon's computer so we had to buy
from Radio Shack.
Zack: Our genius.
Trini: Okay. Roll on the phrase:

TO BE CONTINUED...

(C) 1993 Artist Bros. Enterprises

NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS...

Rita goes into phase two of her idiotic plan to lead the rangers out into the open by having Goldar in Downtown Angel Grave (which is like saying dead, three times) smashing things and also kidnaps Bulk and Skull so she can eclipse the sun and cut of MegaJunkaZord's energy source!

Bulk and Skull miraculously are found not outside Cheers, but outside the
Junk Food Bar aimlessly scanning the park area for protective shielding,
screaming when Bulk notices an abandoned, nearly empty-fueled School Bus.

Bulk: Hey wait a minute, Skull; maybe we can steal this bus to flee the city!
Skull: Bulk, I sure hope you know what you're talking about. I mean, these
things only get up to about 25 miles per...
Bulk: Come on, you worry wart, let's catch the bus!

Bulk and Skull jump into the School Bus and proceed to take turns trying to
drive the thing and both fail at starting the engine--until a pre-grown
Goldar takes advantage of his much larger height and harshly grabs the
School Bus. Then, once in mid-air, the engine starts.

Bulk: There we go. HEY! What happened to the road?
Skull: Bulky, that Gold creep's got us!

Bulk & Skull: AH!

...while Tommy morphs into the Command Center again.

Alpha 5: Oh no, not again.
Tommy: SHH! You're not supposed to know I'm here.
Alpha: Oh right, let's see here if I could just get Zordon's Dimensional
files.
Zordon: Oh no, not you again! Alpha, look - out - behind - you.
Tommy: No you don't!

Tommy pulls the plug on Alpha.

Tommy: Now I'm gonna pull the plug on you, old-man! And soon, I'm gonna
screw up the Pathetic Rangers too. I'm going to slam dunk the
MegaJunkaZord into the trashcan! Muahahahahaha! That's right, I'm
going to screw up your little Super-Hero Team REAL Bad.

Will Bulk & Skull finally get what they deserve for being so incredibly gross? Is Tommy going to finally rid us of the talking fish in the aquarium?
Will the MegaJunkaZord survive? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!

"Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers" is a trademark of Artist Bros. Entertainment.
The above material is protected under laws of the United States and other countries. Unauthorized duplication, distribution or exhibition may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution. Copyright (c)1993 Artist Brothers.
All Rights Reserved. Country Of First Publication: United States of America.
Ondre and Dairenn Lombard are the authors of the preceding text. The characters and events depicted in this story are fictional. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional. This satire is protected under the Fair Use provisions for parody in United States copyright law. This copyright notice does not extend to infringe upon existing copyrights for "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" a registered trademark of Saban Entertainment, Saban International, N.V.; Toei Group, Toei International, Toei Agency or Fox Kids Network. [TV-14]

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A Bealtinne Charm

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"This is one of a set of very simple charms that can serve as a basic invocation for a solitary High Day. It could be inserted in a 'Simple Rite of Offering' as the key offering section, perhaps serving all the way through the Prayer of Sacrifice, but it could also be used with little or no other ritual context. Just build a good small fire, or gather candles and a censer, and have a well-bowl of some sort. These charms could even be adapted for use by a family at their High Day dinner table."

The Charm

Bright Fire kindled, Blazing!
Seed Springing; Love Flowing
Luck Bringing; Wight Knowing;
I keep the Feast of Bealtaine!
Mound Mother, Mead Woman, you I call
Green and Gold Goddess
Womb of All Kindreds, Lover of Heroes
Take now my offering, here at my Fire
Son of the Mother, you I call
Wonder Child; Sweet Enchanter
Harper and Singer and Heir of the Chieftain
Take now my offering here at my Fire
Beautiful Kindreds, this is your honoring
Clooties I tie in salute to your power
To bless the blossom on the branch
I tie this clout for the Kings in the Hall
I tie this clout for the Queens in the Hall
I tie this clout for all the beings of this Land
Be with me Nature Spirits, Noble People
And grant your blessing to my year.

So, all you Powers, I give you welcome at my Fire. Let your light be reflected in my spirit, let your ale flow in my veins. I raise this glass to you, and drink to your divine power. Let me know the health, wealth and wisdom of the Gods and Spirits on this holy feast of Bealtaine! So be it!

"It is best to find a flowering tree on which to tie the three clouties. The clouties can be as slight as three threads, though strips of cloth are better. These should be in three colors as you prefer. The offerings to the Deities can be oil or incense as usual."

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